Apologetics: ə-pŏl'ə-jĕt'ĭks from the Greek απоλоγία Def: The branch of theology that is concerned with defending or proving the truth of Christian doctrines.

Fudge Tunnel Pumpkin Cake. . . A Bi-Partisan Approach

Written By Esthermay Bentley-Goossen on 03 November 2008

In the spirit of bi-partisanship and extending the Christian hand of fellowship to both Barak Obama enthusiasts and McCain/Palin supporters this day before the 2008 Election, my submission for Fall into Flavor (over at 2nd Cup of Coffee) has two very unique, yet perfectly delectable versions: One for economically confused concerned Democrats and one for the rest of us hard-working, selfish Republican capitalists.

So... here we go. Lets all join in a moment of unity, shall we.

That's nice.

Fudge Tunnel Pumpkin Cake for Liberals

Ingredients
2 3/4 cups All-Purpose Flour
1 tablespoon Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
2 teaspoons Baking powder
1 teaspoon Baking Soda
1 teaspoon Salt
1 teaspoon Ground Cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon Ground Ginger
2 sticks (1/2 pound) softened Unsalted REAL Butter
1 1/2 cups White Sugar
1/2 cup firmly packed Light Brown Sugar
2 teaspoons Vanilla Extract
4 Large eggs, at room temperature
1 can (15 ounces) Solid-Pack Pumpkin
2 ounces Semisweet Chocolate, melted.

Chocolate Glaze:
1 cup Heavy Whipping Cream
6 ounces Semisweet Chocolate, chopped
1 tablespoon REAL Butter

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350F. Grease a 12-cup Bundt pan; dust with flour or cocoa.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and ginger. Set aside.

In a large bowl, cream the butter, both sugars and the vanilla with an electric mixer until fluffy. Add the eggs 1 at a time, beating well after each.

At low speed, mix in the dry ingredients in 3 additions, alternating with the pumpkin.

Transfer 1 cup of batter to a small bowl; stir in the chocolate.

Spoon 3 cups of the pumpkin batter into the prepared pan; smooth the top. Using a small spoon, make a shallow ditch in the center of the batter, forming a ring.

Drop the chocolate batter into the ditch. Cover with the remaining pumpkin batter, smoothing the top.

Bake for 45–50 minutes, until a cake tester comes out clean.

Let the cake cool in the pan on a rack for 15 minutes, then turn out to cool completely.

Prepare Chocolate Glaze and drizzle over the cooled cake.

Let stand until set.

Chocolate Glaze
In a saucepan, bring the cream to a boil. Remove from heat. Add the chocolate and butter; stir until smooth. Let cool for 1 hour, until thickened but pourable.




Fudge Tunnel Pumpkin Cake for Hard-Working Republicans

Ingredients
2 3/4 cups local store-brand all-purpose flour
If redistribution of resources has affected your flour supply, sawdust works well.
1 tablespoon generic unsweetened cocoa powder
Again, if the new redistribution policies have your cocoa supply limited, dehydrated Halloween candy works well as a substitute.
2 teaspoons generic baking powder
Skip this if you have to. . .
1 teaspoon baking soda
Not necessary.
1 teaspoon salt
Look in your glove box. McDonald's sometimes throws 'em in with French fries. Check neighbor's car too.
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Kind of important. Borrow from neighbor if redistribution has left you wanting.
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
Skip it.
1/2 tub (1/2 pound) of the cheapest store-brand margarine you can afford
Essential. Skip the glaze (below) if you must to afford this.
1 1/2 cups store-brand granulated sugar
A must-have ingredient. Again -- borrow from a liberal neighbor who probably is now in possession of yours.
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
Double-up on the white sugar if redistribution has affected this staple.
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
See substitution for ginger.
4 large eggs, at room temperature
Corn starch will work.
1 can (15 ounces) solid-pack pumpkin
Or any medium-size decomposing gourd will work. Puree it in a blender and run it through a sieve. The inside is still good.
2 ounces store-brand chocolate, melted
Halloween candy works. If redistribution has affected candy supply. Visit your liberal neighbor. In fact -- make friends with him/her. Fast.
Chocolate Glaze:
1 cup heavy cream
6 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped
1 tablespoon butter
Just skip the glaze if you make over $40,000.00/year. You don't deserve it.

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350F.
Or -- as an alternative if your oven's been given to a homeless guy, put a space heater in your bathtub and pre-heat bathroom.

Grease a 12-cup Bundt pan; dust with flour or cocoa.
Or -- as an alternative, use your kid's bike helmet.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and ginger.
Or -- whatever ingredients you do have.

Set aside.
Or -- at this point just give up and go buy a cake off the day-old bakery rack at WalMart.

In a large bowl, cream the butter, both sugars and the vanilla with an electric mixer until fluffy.
-- Or - if you don't have an electric mixer, children are great at mixing things with their hands. Give 'em a couple of zip-lock bags and let 'em use their feet if you've used their Halloween candy (you know, as payment for the treats).

Add the eggs (or corn starch) 1 at a time, beating well after each.
Or -- see zip-lock instructions above.

At low speed, mix in the dry ingredients in 3 additions, alternating with the pumpkin (or pureed gourd).

Transfer 1 cup (or whatever you've got) of batter to a small bowl; stir in the chocolate.

Spoon 3 cups of the pumpkin (or pureed gourd) batter into the prepared pan; smooth the top.

Using a small plastic spoon, make a shallow ditch in the center of the batter, forming a ring. Drop the chocolate batter into the ditch.
Consider at this point giving your house to charity and living in a ditch.

Cover with the remaining pumpkin (or pureed gourd) batter, smoothing the top.

Bake for 14 hours in warm bathtub or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let the cake cool anywhere in the house (we'll assume you've turned your thermostat down to 58° in order to pay utilities in anticipation of Obama's unbelievable new tax plan). Then turn the cake onto a paper plate or restaurant napkin. Or whatever you've got.

If desired, prepare Chocolate Glaze and drizzle over the cooled cake. Let stand until set. Chocolate Glaze : In a saucepan, bring the cream to a boil. Remove from heat. Add the chocolate and butter; stir until smooth. Let cool for 1 hour, until thickened but pourable
Yeah . . . we skipped the glaze, remember? Good Grief! You can't have your cake and glaze too!

Calculate the value of the cake. Subtract $3.00 for your labor. (Do not include cost to heat bathtub.)

Deduct 60% Federal Government Redistribution Contribution.

If value exceeds $2.50 $1.49 .69¢, give entire cake to nearest neighbor with an Obama yard sign.

● If you're lucky they might invite you in to share it while you watch the Election Results together in the SPIRIT OF BI-Partisanship! . . . You -- living in a tunnel of financial despair -- and your liberal neighbor -- living with economic-tunnel vision -- enjoying Fudge Tunnel Cake together. ENJOY!!

Now. . . go visit Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee for more great Fall into Flavor recipes. And remember, "Spread the Wealth Recipes Around!"

~ Esthermay Bentley-Goossen
Wacko-Right-Wing-Christian-Conservative
© 2008 The Heart of a Pastor's Wife


19 comments:

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

I was tempted to vote "wacko," in a fun-loving way but was afraid you might take it seriously. Now that I've explained my amusing thought which is now no longer amusing, I definitely vote "wacko." You are a total riot. You should send this to a concservative radio/mag. And that picture cracks me up. Well-done, my friend, well done.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Oh, and thanks for submitting. And I meant "conservative." It's 6:47 am after the time change here. I'm TARD.

Andrea said...

OH! You are a wacko. A brilliant wacko! But I vote for McCain. This is what I love about your blog. You are a serious student of God's Word and at the same time a gifted writer who makes me laugh! I must send this to sons oversees who both are excellent in the kitchen. They will think you are a hoot! And this cake looks wonderful too!

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

This was my first time here, and I have to agree with Linda...wacko! In a fun-loving way! :-)

This was hysterical! Although, in all honesty, it's a little bit scary to me, too. I hope and pray that there is no real foreshadowing going on in here!

Blessings to you...and Bravo!

Kate said...

Do you know something the rest of us don't. This is funny in a sorta somber way. You are not a wacko- just a forseeer of things to come. Scary! Cake looks delicious too!

Kate said...

And I vote for McCain/Palin!

lmerie said...

LOL - you crack me up! This recipe is priceless!

Thanks for stopping by earlier!

Barbara said...

This is so funny! LOL!
I'm sending your link to our local conservative talk radio guy. Funny funny funny.

Nancy Douglas said...

I just gained three pounds! Yum.

Laurie Ann said...

I love it I love it I love it!!!!!!!!!!!

Jane said...

This was such a fun post to read. I think I'll print it out and share it with my clueless niece who is voting for the first time tomorrow. Maybe it will give her something to think about.

Sharon said...

This was GREAT !!!! Although a bit more complicated than my offered recipe .... ha! Thanks for dropping by.

Judy said...

OH this is hysterical! My girlfriend at work e-mailed it to me. I laughed till tears came to my eyes! And so true of what socialism would come to. Mr. Spread the Wealth around Obamamaniacmessiah scares me. I voted early for John McCain and Sarah Palin.

Merrie said...

I love love love it! What a great sense of humor you have! I also love the idea of chocolate and pumpkin. This is new to me...

Anonymous said...

I SO needed this laugh...very creative, thanks!!! mb

skoots1mom said...

too funny...
love the recipe...
thanks for stopping by on your trail!

Kim said...

You're a hoot!

Eccles. 10:2 The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left.

hehehehe Couldn't help myself!

So enjoyed reading back a few posts and will do more when I have more time.

Just A Girl said...

This is my first visit to your blog and I am cracking up! Would you please email this to Barack's office? Maybe the lightbulb will come on before we live in a country devoid of motivation and morale. Cheerful giving is best - just ask God. Grouchy, forced giving is no good and doesn't last long.

Kris said...

i love your blog more each time i visit...

with fondness,

kw

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