Esthermay Bentley-Goossen
Writer / Counselor





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Apologetics: ə-pŏl'ə-jĕt'ĭks from the Greek απоλоγία Def: The branch of theology that is concerned with defending or proving the truth of Christian doctrines.

A Gift for Your Pastor's Wife. . .

Written By Esthermay Bentley-Goossen on 16 December 2008

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."
~ II Corinthians 1:3-5


This has been my "Life Verse"
for many years . . . even before becoming a pastor's wife. And over the last few years, I've learned something: Most people in ministry have similar convictions. And . . . sometimes those people who have made God's Kingdom their life's work become so busy in their obedience to the work of their church or ministry, that they become a stranger to the God of their work.

Ministry pulls at its servants both positively and negatively in terms of our own spiritual walk. Satan attacks ministry in the most unsuspecting ways and through the most unsuspecting people. It is not easy work. Obedience to God's call brings great reward, unspeakable joy, untold heartache, indescribable sorrow, and an immense void filled only by solitude. The solitude is hard to find . . . .

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."

~ Luke 5:16

And now. . . because Kate asked :-)

One of the best Christmas gifts you could give your pastor's wife -- and her husband! -- is to let them know how much you appreciate the sacrifices made and difficulties faced - most of them completely unbeknownst to those around them. AND that you understand the need for solitude and refreshment for the soul.

Bless your pastor's family this year with a simple Christmas card expressing these sentiments in your own words.

And as for those great gift ideas:
(. . . and yes, they're all books. What ministry family doesn't love books?)

Celebration of Disciplines by Richard Foster
Resting Places by Jane Rubietta
Quiet Places by Jane Rubietta
Come Closer by Jane Rubietta
Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton
Too Busy Not To Pray by Bill Hybels

More Good Gift Ideas HERE.

And finally. . . For the creative gifters: An appropriate and beautiful quote from Max Lucado to fit into you Christmas gift this year. . . On Obedience:

“You’ve stood where Joseph stood. Caught between what God says and what makes sense. You’ve done what he told you to do only to wonder if it was him speaking in the first place.” … “If you are asking what Joseph asked, let me urge you to do what Joseph did. Obey. That’s what he did. He obeyed. He obeyed when the angel called. He obeyed when Mary explained. He obeyed when God sent.”
~ Max Lucado
From “Joseph’s Prayer" in The Heart of Christmas

~ Esthermay Bentley-Goossen
©2008 The Heart of a Pastor's Wife
6:09 PM | 19 comments | Read More

Our Family's Christmas Card . . .

Written By Esthermay Bentley-Goossen on 13 December 2008

©2008 The Heart of a Pastor's Wife

The Special Ornament
by Mark E. & Esthermay Bentley-Goossen

‘Tis the season to lavish the tree,
And watch small eyes twinkle
With excitement and glee
As trimmings and lights adorn that lush tree.
Oh what a glorious sight that we see.

A mother beckons father to come very near
To adorn their grand tree with that last special ornament:
The one the family holds dear.

But lest we forget. . .
Another Father had placed on a tree
An ornament of extraordinary beauty and grace.
To make provision for Adam’s fallen race,
And cancel sin’s debt without even a trace.
To redeem unto Himself a Bride so chaste.
That we may each gaze forever at His dear precious face.

That special ornament is the Lamb. . .
Jesus Christ.

©2008 The Heart of a Pastor's Wife
5:31 PM | 14 comments | Read More

And The Winners Are . . .

Written By Esthermay Bentley-Goossen on 12 December 2008

" All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had."

~ Acts 4:32

Winners of the $100.00 in Brand New AVON Products Giveaway. . .

Are Revealed HERE.

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And . . . See More Winners at the Internet Cafe



12:21 PM | 1 comments | Read More

In Other Words . . . We Still Forget!

Written By Esthermay Bentley-Goossen on 09 December 2008

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas. . . perhaps
. . . means a 'little' bit more."
~ Dr. Suess - How the Grinch Stole Christmas

We forget.

We go crazy at Christmastime with light displays and decorating, planning and partying, gifts and gaiety, crafts and cuisine, even blog carnivals. And the shopping. . . oh my!

Oh sure, we do our best to put the focus on “The Real Reason. . .”

But . . . we forget.

We pause - *sigh* - when we hear the news of yet another school district banning the sacred music of the Season. Our hearts sink deeper every year as we witness the culture's sinister attacks on this Season of our Saviour's Birth.

Yet. . . we still forget.

We are occupied with Bethlehem when we should be focused on Gethsemane.

Is it possible to get too caught up in the “story” of Jesus’ birth? Do people take the baby Jesus thing too far? People seem to revel in the “tender” side of God’s nature, putting aside thoughts of sin and righteousness.

We dress up children in costumes and sing angelic-sounding songs. It’s almost too much to resist. Don’t misunderstand me. This aspect of Jesus’ story is important, even vital to understanding the Messiah. But the biblical focus on Jesus is not on His birth.

The real focus is some thirty years later, at an execution scene. There was no tender moment at that place. The air was, instead, ripe with evil.

The baby of the manger was murdered.

Birth did bring God’s Son into the world and give Him a body like you and like me. But this miraculous Birth is just one small piece of a much greater and grander story -- a story that ties Genesis to Revelation -- a story that spans generations and centuries -- a story which continues right up to this very second. It's the story of Redemption!

“The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.”
~ John 1:14

Why did God choose to send a child? Why didn’t Jesus just come to earth as a fully-grown adult? In fitting with the whole of Scripture and the entire plan of Redemption, the idea was that Jesus be involved in human relationships. Jesus needed to know what it’s like to be human. And he does.

While on earth, Jesus was hurt. He cried. He was hungry. He was angry. He was happy. He grew. And like us, He experienced human limitations. He bled. He got hungry. He needed sleep. And it’s probably safe to assume that, just as any other precious infant, the human part of baby Jesus needed constant care. As a toddler, He needed discipline; and as a child, direction. God used those formative years to prepare Jesus for His ministry and ultimately for death on a cross.

Let’s get caught up in the Baby Jesus "story" for a minute, shall we?

Imagine you had been walking down a city street or sitting in a coffee shop in Bethlehem that evening and overheard someone say something about a King being in town?

If someone had told you, “Follow this street to the alleyway behind Starbuck's and you’ll find Him in a manger,” wouldn’t you have hurried along toward that alley?

I wonder how many of us upon arriving at the manger, with disappointment in our hearts, would say, “But it’s only a child,” and walk away -- frustrated that we'd left our gourmet coffee behind for nothing.

Scripture does tell us that people were expecting the Savior to be a warrior. They were hoping for someone who would overtake the oppressive leaders of the time and they believed God would do it the way any man would… by force.

How many people do you suppose breathed sighs of despair when they saw that God had instead sent . . . a child?

As mothers, that’s hard to think about. Our children are the world to us and we’d do anything for them. Most of us have sacrificed much to care for them, discipline them, direct them and form them into adults.

But the child stage is so momentary. Children are like . . . plaster! I was working with plaster a few days ago. While fresh and wet, it can be shaped into almost anything. Over time (actually about 15 minutes), the plaster hardens, and shaping is much more difficult impossible.

We all have a part in shaping the plaster of the children in our lives. Their little hearts and minds are so pliable. We can teach them good or evil. We can teach them selfishness or compassion.

Do you believe God was doing the same thing with His own Son? I do. God brought Jesus into this world as a child so He could shape Jesus into the man He wanted His son to become.

“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”
~Luke 2:52

Jesus needed to grow in favor with God because the human part of Him had to be shaped into the character God had planned. That reality should help us realize just how crucial it is that we use our time wisely when it comes to our children and grandchildren. If God realized the importance of shaping His own child’s “plaster,” how can we do any different with our children?

Over the next weeks, many of us will be scouring crowded stores looking for the perfect toys and clothes and gadgets and . . . stuff. We will envision the excitement on our children’s and grandchildren’s faces as they open their gifts.

But we forget. . .

Beyond what we find in the stores, let's spend some time thinking about what’s going on inside their hearts – how their “plaster” is being shaped. Let’s remember a powerful yet often overlooked verse in The Book of Psalm:

"Children are a gift from God…”
~ Psalm 127:3

Let’s never get to that point where -- as some did some two thousand years ago -- we say, “But, it’s only a child." Jesus came as a tiny, precious baby --Yes! But God’s plan for Him was far more remarkable.

. . . He just needed his plaster shaped before HE GAVE HIS LIFE.

Maybe Christmas. . . perhaps
. . . means a 'little' bit more."


~ Esthermay Bentley-Goossen
2008 The Heart of a Pastor's Wife
The article also submitted for publication to
Wesleyan Publishing House, Indianapolis, IN

In Other Words is hosted today by Lori at All You Have to Give.
12:06 AM | 25 comments | Read More

Holiday GiveAway!

Written By Esthermay Bentley-Goossen on 04 December 2008

" All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had."
~ Acts 4:32

I've got over $100.00 in Brand New AVON Products to share!!!

Find details HERE.


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And . . . Find even more "GiveAways" at the Internet Cafe

6:45 PM | 1 comments | Read More

Your Children's Peace. . .

Written By Esthermay Bentley-Goossen on 03 December 2008

"To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again. Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
". . . All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children's peace."
~ Isaiah 54:9-10, 13


See more WordFilled Wednesday at The 160 Acre Woods.
9:00 AM | 20 comments | Read More

In Other Words. . . Use Money to Make Friends!

Written By Esthermay Bentley-Goossen on 02 December 2008

"Remember this December that love weighs more than gold!"
~ Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon

Several weeks ago I came across a little book by C. S. Lewis called, A Grief Observed.

It’s a diary that he kept for the years ago following his wife’s death, in which he jotted down his thoughts and reactions to the world around him during the grief and pain of those days.

The writing is brilliant -- and if you’re a C.S. Lewis fan, you’d appreciate his sparkling style. . . . But the atmosphere of this diary is somber and sad -- there is remarkably little faith in it at all until the very end of the book.

Among the doubts that came flooding into Lewis' mind as he lived through the weary, dull days that followed his wife's death was the idea that there is no real hope of seeing our loved ones again. (You have to remember that he wrote this particular book under a dark cloud of grief and a very heavy heart. This explains much of the darkness and bitterness.) But, he suggests that the idea of a family reunion on the other shore is unscriptural and thoroughly illogical.

There are very few occasions when I would venture to differ with C. S. Lewis, but this is one.

You must do some searching of Scripture, but there are a few passages that lead (me anyway) toward thinking there is a spiritual tie -- a connection between earth and eternity.

“The Parable of the Dishonest Steward” in Luke 16:1-13 is, in many ways, the most unusual parable Jesus ever told. It comes right out of the self-seeking and ruthless business practices we see on Wall Street today -- and it truly reveals how thoroughly Jesus was in touch with life at it’s very greediest, ugliest, worst.

It is the story of a man who was entrusted with the use of another man's money, a familiar account of dubious speculations, padded expense accounts, lavish entertainment, and juggled bank accounts, until the day of reckoning. When the wasted expenditure of this steward came to light he was summarily ordered to turn over his books and to collect his last check. He is then faced with the sudden loss of what he had long been taking for granted, and is forced to think soberly and seriously of the future. Jesus, of course, makes His observations and some surprising truths about the use of money unfold:

“I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.”
~ Luke 16:9

Jesus tells us specifically that the friends that are made on earth in this lifetime by means of worldly money (other versions use the terminology, mammon of unrighteousness) can be there to welcome us into eternity. Surely He means that close spiritual ties, made here in this life, survive death, and such loved ones will be there to welcome us in Heaven.

Jesus never says -- nor does He imply -- that money is wicked. Scripture never says that money is the root of all evil, as it is sometimes quoted as saying. It is the love of money which is the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10). When Jesus speaks of unrighteous mammon, he means that money is neither righteous nor wicked --it is neither moral nor immoral. It is -- in fact -- an instrument either for good or evil, depending on how it is used.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said,

"Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven"
~Matthew 6:20

How specifically do we do that?

Use your money in such a way that you are winning others, not only to Christ, but to yourself, for you never win anyone to Christ without winning him, in some degree, to yourself. Ever hear of "Friendship Evangelism?"

By means of hospitality, or in giving to some missionary venture, or by investing a sum to help someone in a time of need, money may be used for eternal good. It is not enough to pray for unsaved family and friends -- we must pay for them too if we are going to win them and have them meet us in Heaven!

Ray Stedman asked in a sermon once, “Is there anything that we can carry across with us to the other side? Is there any link at all between this life and that life yonder?”

And then he answers himself: “Yes, says Jesus, there is one thing you can take with you -- friends! Meaningful personal relationships, ties of spiritual life-sharing, family ties in Christ, all these survive death. . . . If you are wise, you will use your money to make friends."

The purpose of money -- whether we have a little or a lot -- should be to use it in the uncertain present (and what's more uncertain than the economy of the present?) in order to enrich the future. And we're talking Eternity here -- not Retirement. If what money we have is used for anything else, it is a total waste.

"Remember this December that eternal life is what really matters. Use your money -- spend your money -- give your money. . . . But contemplate and scrutinize it's use - because love (i.e. GOD's Eternal Love) weighs more than gold . . . "

~ Esthermay Bentley-Goossen
© 2008 The Heart of a Pastor's Wife
The article also submitted for publication to
Wesleyan Publishing House, Indianapolis, IN

In Other Words is hosted today by Denise at Shortybears Place.
6:08 AM | 12 comments | Read More

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