Hospitality 101 - Proper Use of the Doily

“Hospitality is becoming an almost forgotten Christian virtue in our style of life today… In the New Testament, however, hospitality was a distinctive mark of Christians and Christian communities.”
~Alexander Strauch

from The Hospitality Commands

Our shallow, media-driven, post-modern culture views hospitality (and I admit I often do too) through the exquisite, decorous, picturesque images of Martha Stewart Living and Ladies’ Home Journal. Hospitality has been reduced to the idea of private and pretentious entertaining with delicious dinners and polite conversations. And. . . Yes. I love to plan and execute the possibilities of perfection in my own home . . .

Even my little Selah appreciates the use of a paper doily when presenting her homemade delicacies.

But. . . my whimsy -- and my daughter’s vision of being a creative homemaker -- is a complete distortion of Christian hospitality which has little to do with delicious food and polite conversation. Christian hospitality remains a God-given commandment having little to do with domestic ability and perfection.

When the Apostle Paul urged the Roman Christians to “present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God” (Romans 12:1), he was specifically instructing them to “be transformed [from the Roman Empire’s way of thinking] by the renewing of your minds,” “. . . hate what is evil,” and “. . . be patient in suffering.”

These are pretty serious instructions for a group of Christians already being persecuted. But then he gives this command:

“Extend hospitality to strangers.”

What was he thinking?!

So what was acceptable “hospitality” in First Century Rome? The New Testament Christians certainly were not detoured by consumerism and the hospitality “industry.” Did hospitality simply mean being “nice?” Reaching out to strangers? Ministering to those with physical needs? And how would the Roman Christians go about doing these things in Jesus’ name when they were already under great persecution by Nero?

In Acts Chapter 2, we learn that these early Christians were devoted to “the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” Any hospitality practiced in the New Testament Church had to flow out of this framework of life and worship.

As they learned from the apostle’s teaching, they shared it.
And the Church grew.

As they enjoyed fellowship, they shared the friendship.
And the Church grew.

As they ate meals together, they certainly extended the invitation to others. (They probably shared recipes too!)
And the Church grew.

As they prayed together, they received comfort and power and wisdom – which was shared!
And the Church grew.

As these Christians received from God, they gave back.
And the Church grew!

That’s hospitality: Giving back.
Growing God's Church!

All believers are called to hospitality:

Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
- Romans 12:13

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.
- Hebrews 13:2

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.
- 1 Peter 4:9

Throughout Scripture, godliness and hospitality have always been synonymous. If we are true believers, we have all been called to minister to others. It’s called “Hospitality.

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By the way. . . Presenting hospitality on a pretty doily never hurts.

See Selah's recipe for Hermits at The Goossen Kitchen

And read about making them at The Excellent Homeschool Adventure.

- Esthermay Bentley-Goossen

© Copyright 2008 The Heart of a Pastor's Wife

See More In Other Words at Joyfully Living For His Glory

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In Other Words. . . What Did This Atheist Really Mean?

"The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

. . beautiful thought isn’t it? Extending Emerson’s reflection into Christian thought, we might consider the following:

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.
-I Peter 4:9-10

Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined.
-Titus 1:8

Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach. . . .
- I Timothy 3:2

. . . and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.
- 1 Timothy 5:10

Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined.

- Titus 1:8

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

- Hebrews 13:2

When she and the members of her household were baptized, she invited us to her home. "If you consider me a believer in the Lord," she said, "come and stay at my house." And she persuaded us.

- Acts 16:15

The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole family.

- Acts 16:34

Leaving the next day, we reached Caesarea and stayed at the house of Philip the evangelist, one of the Seven.

- Acts 21:8

The islanders showed us unusual kindness. They built a fire and welcomed us all because it was raining and cold. . . . There was an estate nearby that belonged to Publius, the chief official of the island. He welcomed us to his home and for three days entertained us hospitably.

- Acts 28:2 & 7

I wonder if Emerson’s contemplative mind was wrapped around these verses when he wrote so eloquently of friends adorning our homes. Much of Emerson's poetry has been highly esteemed. His poems display tenderness, affection and a love for nature. But, when he penned the beautiful words about ornamenting one’s home, his thoughts were not wrapped around Christian hospitality!

Emerson has been described by biographers as “a poet by nature,” “a spiritual philosopher.” Emerson was in fact a “minister,” but admitted that he never relished the contact with people (i.e., the "calling" he was expected to do every afternoon – sometimes referred to as “hospitality”), though he claims he did love to “preach.” But what exactly was Emerson preaching? Many Christians of Emerson’s day criticized his use of biblical texts to illustrate his sermons, as opposed to actually preaching from the texts. (Sounds a lot like some liberal churches of our day: afraid to open the Bible for fear of offending someone.) It has been said that Emerson’s congregation was charmed with his non-typical sermons because he spoke to people’s emotions and dealt with things of the spiritual realm with an enlightened elevation – separating them from overused biblical guidelines. Sounds to me like the [false] gospel according to Oprah.

Emerson’s career in ministry ended when he resigned over an issue with communion – claiming he differed in convictions over the purpose of it. In 1833 Emerson began a new career as a lecturer. At first he lectured mostly on scientific subjects, in a poetic spirit, but over time he began speaking in protest against a stale, “inherited” Christianity and called for fresh religious inspiration. Sadly, Emerson considered his ideas consistent with the teachings of Jesus and was truly surprised when he was denounced in a storm of controversy.Emerson immersed himself in reading and becoming “enlightened.” He even became a vegetarian. (Not that that’s a bad thing.) It’s been written that for many months all Emerson did was read and read and read (although I doubt at this point he was reading God’s Word). He read hundreds of books and scientific publications in several languages. He also took a zealous interest in the newly translated sacred texts of Eastern religions. The influence of Hindu scriptures and Persian poetry were fully incorporated in his thought and work after 1845.

Was Emerson an 1800’s forerunner of the post-modern, anti-Christian movement? Or was he just a plain old atheist? You decide. Here are some more famous quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

We must get rid of that Christ, we must get rid of that Christ!
-Ralph Waldo Emerson, from John E Remsberg, The Christ (1909)

Other world? There is no other world; here or nowhere is the whole fact.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Emerson: The Mind On Fire, p. 382

To aim to convert a man by miracles is a profanation of the soul.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson, "DivinitySchool Address"

The word Miracle, as pronounced by Christian churches, gives a false impression; it is Monster. It is not one with the blowing clover and the falling rain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Divinity School Address"

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart, is true for all men -- that is genius.... Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.... What I must do, is all that concerns me; not what the people think.... Nothing can bring you peace but ourself; nothing, but the triumph of principles.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson, oft quoted by Charles Bradlaugh, quoted from Jim Herrick, "Bradlaugh and Secularism: 'The Province of the Real'"

If a man fasten his attention of a single aspect of truth and apply himself to that alone for a long time, the truth becomes distorted and not itself but falsehood.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Essays (First Series, 1841), thanks to Laird Wilcox, ed, "The Degeneration of Belief"

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of our own mind.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters
compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Quote found at The Atheist BlogRoll.

Quite contrasts to the idea of hospitality in the “ornaments of a house” quote, huh? I don't disagree with Emerson's thought about the ornament of one's house. But you do have to wonder what kind of "friends" he entertained. The friends we keep say much about who we are. So much that - yes - they can be seen as the "ornaments" of our homes. But the true ornament of a house is not necessarily the friends who frequent it, but the atmosphere in which those friends are welcomed. The ornament of a Christian house is God's Word.

And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

- Deuteronomy 6:9

Meaning: #1 Meditate on God's Words so that our thoughts are employed about them - including (tada!) hospitality. #2 Train our children in God's Word. #3 Frequent reading of God's Word - so we are familiar with it and have it ready to use upon all occasions - including being able to tell the difference between a secular, atheistic, postmodern, spiritually-enlightened, Ralph Waldo Emerson-view of things . . . and God's Word.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

- Joshua 24:15

(And, yes - that is the Goossen home right there in the picture!)

-Esthermay Bentley-Goossen

This week, Heather is hosting "In 'Other' Words." Visit her at, Mommy Monk and see what others are blogging about Emerson's quote . . . "In Other Words."

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