Apologetics: ə-pŏl'ə-jĕt'ĭks from the Greek απоλоγία Def: The branch of theology that is concerned with defending or proving the truth of Christian doctrines.

Whisperer, Gossip, Blabbermouth . . .
Not So Pretty!

Written By Esthermay Bentley-Goossen on 18 April 2009

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of a life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men [and women], who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers [and sisters], this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?
~ James 3:6-11 (NIV)

For a long as I can remember, I have avoided deep relationships with other women. Women can be the cruelest of creatures. Really I think it dates back to Genesis Chapter 3. There is something in us that broke that day. Something we continually have to struggle against. It seems to be in the very core of our being to pit one another against each other. And what is so very sad is that we see it in churches as readily as the secular workplace.

Women have always been the most deadly critics of other women. They know how to wound with precision. They know how to judge. They know how to look another woman over from head to toe, inside and out, and then make a diagnosis of all the ills they have found. Why do we do that? Is it so that we don’t have to look at ourselves? Is it because we are jealous creatures? Is it because we have not learned how to love one another? [Read More . . . ]

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I am a Guest Contributor today at
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Denise said...

This was really awesome.

Barbara said...

So much truth.
Thanks again for making it printable.


Sometimes the women who stab the deepest - are the ones who are the closest to you - sometimes even family.

Hard subject to talk about and make known. You did a superb job [as usual].

Thanks for your honesty!

Choosing JOY,
[Kneeling in Prayer]

Kristen said...

Your blog is beautiful and that post was amazing! I find that so many women have been hurt by friends who talk behind backs and then they go on to do the same thing. It just makes me sad and although we are never going to be perfect we need to try to hold our mouths closed! What a great message!

Susan said...

This was GREAT Esthermay!!

So much TRUTH and I totally agree with many things you shared.

So neat to see you at the Cafe! I'm sure many other women were blessed to met you!!

Hope you're having a blessed Sunday♥

Dana Hope said...


Thank you for your post. Very well said. However, may I interject one thing? (And it's a big one.)
I agree with you that at the heart of the trials we have all experienced regarding female relationship is our human condition: sin. However, you mention that men don't struggle with the same relational tensions we do. Which makes sense because of another big thing that the church doesn't talk about much: The Enemy's hatred of women. We are the crown of God's creation. We represent everything Satan despises: giving life, bringing beauty, a natural bend to intimate relationship. So what would he want to do but stir it up? Even better if we can then take it out on one another. At the core of the attacks against our nature, which in turn makes us attack one another, is spiritual warfare. Think about how wonderful it would be if all believing women recognized this. Imagine what our relationships with one another would be like and what we could accomplish for the kingdom.
I love how Stasi Eldredge says this in Captivating: "You won't really understand your life as a woman until you understand this:
You are passionately loved by the God of the universe. You are passionately hated by his Enemy. He fears your beauty and your life-giving heart."
I continue to pray that our loving Father will open our eyes to the lies and our hearts to one another.
Bless you dear sister.
Dana Hope

Michele Williams said...

Amen! Such truth! You did such a great job with this!

I did a little light hearted getting to know you challenge on my blog for you to do...

Laurie Ann said...

A kindred spirit. The weight of our words really does matter!

Annie Blake said...

Thank you for this wonderful post, it came at a time when I needed to hear it. Welcome to Internet Cafe Devotions :)

I linked to this post on my blog.

Mr. & Mrs. A said...

Wow I just came across reading this while checking out some new blogs. This came at a time when I needed it more than anything. Thank you for your kind words. I'd like to link this on my blog.

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