So What Exactly Does "Modest Apparel" Mean Today?

We've all seen it: Women (especially younger women) wearing clothes that expose just about everything: their upper thighs, their buttocks, their bellybuttons and most of what’s above that. Frankly, it’s unattractive and appalling. There aren’t too many reading this who would disagree. The sensuality of the world really does dominate our culture. Sadly, promoting modest attire in churches is not a high priority since a lot of this “exhibitionism” goes unnoticed. Or at least overlooked. And when the subject is addressed, the issue immediately becomes suspect. Thoughts such as “Where are you going with this? Are you going to give a dresses only sermon?” begin to overtake the senses and the words that follow are probably only partially heard.

Although Scripture does not give us explicit instructions or layout a specific dress code, it most certainly does provide us with basic principles that must be taken into account when we choose what to wear. Well-meaning, but ignorant Christians, attempting to codify these principles always run into trouble.

There was a time when Christians knew there was to be a difference in our manner of dress from that of the world. Christians believed the wisdom of I Timothy 2:9: “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with godly fear and sobriety.” Christian women dressed modestly, attractively, and femininely and they were treated with respect! This is NOT true today. Young women (even little girls) admire, emulate and pattern their lives and dress after popular culture and Hollywood stars! And we wonder why respect for women is gone!

So what is “modest apparel?” What do Paul’s words in I Timothy mean literally? In context, Paul was actually concerned about distractions during church service. Satan was working hard to distract and cause disorder – even using a women’s beauty to distract men. Paul emphasized in I Timothy 2:9-19, in I Peter 3:3-4, and in Titus 2:5 the necessity of modesty and purity in a woman’s life - including dress. Basically, Paul is telling us that (1) Women are beautiful; and (2) Calling attention to that beauty by dressing provocatively such to appeal to the senses of men is wrong. Especially in church! A good thing to remember is if it is mentioned more than once in the Bible, then the Holy Spirit felt it needed to be repeated

Of course, women in the First Century could follow the general dress style of the culture without much change, but Twenty First Century Christian women absolutely cannot follow today’s popular dress standards. Most Christian women today dress the same as other women in society. Most do not even realize that the Bible has very much to say about how we should dress. There’s simply not room here to offer every passage as a convincing argument.

Read Isaiah 3:16-24. In Isaiah’s culture, the women adorned themselves with ankle chains, rings, bells, etc. They dressed so as to call attention to themselves – trying to charm and attract men. Don’t we do pretty much the same thing in our culture today? We just don’t opt for the ankle chains as much as we do other ways to dress provocatively! The point is: it’s lascivious in nature and God abhors it and Scripture tells us that He will judge it!

The church, particularly the older women, need to encourage younger woman to look away from the world’s patterns of dress – not in a legalistic way, but in a way that encourages them to follow biblical standards for dress. Taste in dress among Christian women varies greatly. But if we allow the basic principles presented to us in God’s Word to guide us, we can bring glory to Him.

At the risk of sounding very old-fashion, there is a principle portrayed in a beautiful old hymn, “Give of Your Best to The Master.” The song suggests a standard which needs to be revived today.

- Esthermay Bentley-Goossen

(This article originally appeared in Windows -The monthly church-news & ministry newsletter of Crane Community Chapel.)

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Dressmaking 101 and Lessons in Reverence...

When I was nine years old my mother taught me how to sew. We spent probably two hours at So-Fro-Fabrics looking at all the pattern books, and another two hours selecting our fabric. I recall it was light blue with little white dots. It reminded me of a delicate, speckled robin’s egg. My mother called it Dotted Swiss. And since it was spring I had chosen a pattern for what would become my Easter dress.

My mother patiently showed me how to lay out the pattern pieces, cut out the fabric, and then sew the pieces together. Although I’m sure I did not think about it at the time, there was a great deal of love and joy for my mother in what she was doing. She was being a Titus 2 Woman!

So-Fro-Fabrics is long gone from Oak Park Mall. Probably a sign that sewing is one of those things now considered a lost art. Perhaps it is. But you don’t need expert skills as a seamstress to be a Titus 2 Woman. You do need character not unlike the“holy women of old.” (I Peter 3:5) What does that mean? “… women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior…” - Titus 2:3

In modern American, the word "behavior" refers to conduct or manners. But in the Greek, "behavior" refers much more to a life condition - inner characteristics – which, in turn, leads to outward behavior. The Greek word is katastema and it literally means “a standing down.” It speaks of a way of living that establishes something – living a life that really stands for something. This specific word is used no where else in the entire Bible! It’s meaning is just for women!

The King James Bible expresses it beautiffully: “behavior as becometh holiness.” This phrase combines hieros meaning “sacred” or “reverent” and prepo meaning "to stand up or to stick out." Paul is telling us to be obvious and noticeable! I kind of like that. But there’s an enormous difference between being noticeable and being proud, provocative or ostentatious.

An honest evaluation of today’s culture reveals that reverence and holiness are not character qualities that most young women have been taught. It used to be that these values were learned from either your parents or your church. The same was true for how you dressed. But what is being taught in homes and churches today about holiness, reverent behavior and appropriate dress? In most homes and churches
I’m afraid not much. How can the future “older-women” be “reverent in their behavior” if they’ve never been taught themselves?!

What does reverent behavior look like? Do you remember the first time you fell in love? I do. I was giddy all the time. All I wanted to do was think about Mark and every one of his characteristics and all his attributes. I doted on his every word. I thought he was probably the greatest person that ever lived. That’s how God wants us to be with Him – to have an all-consuming passion for Him to the exclusion of everything else. Unlike my Mark, God won’t fizzle out and disappoint you. (Oops! Did I say that out loud?!) When we put all our energy in people, they will disappoint us. God will not. If you have this kind of passion for God, you will have reverent behavior.

A woman with reverent behavior is not a sullen, old-fashioned “church-lady” who incessantly quotes Scripture and never laughs. She enjoys life. She laughs and speaks freely. She does not have a false idea of spirituality. She has fun with the Lord. She wants to make others comfortable. She shows love by acting properly as she rejoices in every day that the Lord has made. Her dress, attitude and behavior are naturally pleasing to the Lord. She enjoys the freedom that we have in Christ to wear make-up and fashionable clothes. She is a modern-version of the “holy women of old.”

Anyone in your life come to mind? I’m thinking of my mom! I was lucky. She’s a fine seamstress and reverant in behavior (and embarrassed over my using this photo. As a woman, I understand the whole hair-syle-thing. Sorry, Mom.) But there’s nothing embarrasing about a mother passing on dress-making skills along with character, reverence and modesty.

Our character needs to be obvious and visible. Not just to our daughters, but to the world. It must complement our highest calling. It encompasses not just the movements of our body and our individual skills and talents, but our expressions and our mood and our countenance and what we say and what we don’t say. And the thing that most dramatically affects our character is what’s inside our heart. Make sure it’s the resurrected Jesus.

And by the way, my Mark only fizzles out and disappoints me in direct proportion to my sometimes-lacking reverent behavior. He is the love of my life and he keeps me humble.

-Esthermay Bentley-Goossen

(This article originally appeared in Windows - The monthly church-news & ministry newsletter of Crane Community Chapel.)

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Our Highest Calling...

Reflections on Proverbs 31 and Titus 2

About a month ago, Don Tebay informed me that my name had made it into the Austin Daily Herald. It was Mower County Attorney Pat Flanagan’s interview, but he mentioned my name because I used to work in the Prosecutor’s Office. After reading the article, Mark asked me if I felt like going back to work. I smiled. I didn’t answer right away. There are days… But after a good night’s sleep and a good cup of coffee served in bed by a doting husband, I can say unequivocally that I have no desire to go back to work until my children and my husband no longer require my complete and untiring attention. Could be decades!

As a devoted Stay-at-Home-Mom, wife and previously career driven woman, I do wonder how many women really realize what a great service they are providing for society and for God’s Kingdom when they choose to follow this quest and become a homemaker - ministering to and serving their family? Mothers and wives build something far more lasting than just a home when they devote their lives to homemaking. They leave a legacy, not just to their children and to their grandchildren, but to society. No professional career in the world combines so uniquely both common menial daily tasks and meaningful, yet eternal opportunities. It’s a blessed, God ordained career. Even mothers and wives who work outside the home have a Biblical mandate to fulfill their responsibility as a good homemaker. This is Our Highest Calling.

Proverbs 31 contains a full-length portrait of what a godly woman looks like. The emphasis seems to be on those characteristics that God values most in women. He uses certain precious words to describe His idea of what the ideal woman looks like: a committed homemaker, chaste, a helpmate, an upright and God-fearing woman of strength. I think most women want and sincerely desire to be a woman of strength who enjoys dignity and importance in the administrative affairs of their home. They want and desire to be a valuable helpmate to their husbands and a complement to him that others take note of... "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." (Proverbs 31:23) But the Proverbs passage still intimidates some of us. It’s a lot to live up to. What we desire in our lives isn’t always easy to attain. And if we flip forward in our Bible to the New Testament, we find even more emphasis on what a godly woman's resume looks like, and how she goes about managing her household. (Titus 2:5 and 1 Timothy 2:10, 5:14) Intimidated yet? Here’s the secret: In Titus 2:3-5, Paul admonishes the older women to teach the younger women, among other things, "to love their husbands and children, . . . to be busy at home". (Interestingly, the Greek word is oikourgous, which literally means "home-workers"). So, is this the key? Being taught how to be an esteemed God-fearing woman of strength? Who’s teaching you? Or whom are you teaching?

Creating a newsletter page devoted exclusively to women was not something I had really planned. But several months ago – even before Mark accepted the call to serve Crane Chapel -- he bought a book for me entitled Becoming A Titus 2 Woman. At the time, I would not have exactly considered myself an “older woman.” Sadly, I guess Mark did! But over the last few months as I’ve been reading the book again, it occurred to me that every Christian woman regardless of age or marital status should aspire to become a Titus 2 Woman. It also seems that most churches today are woefully lacking in the training of these ladies. Sure, there are organized women’s functions, but there really isn’t much discipling going on as required in Titus 2. I certainly won’t pretend to be a master disciple’er or have all the answers, but this new page is a ministry devoted to women and their God-ordained roles – which is Our Highest Calling. Whether you are raising children or not… whether you’re married or not, we’ll look at both the spiritual and the mundane – from Christian doctrine to character to submission to ministry and from housekeeping to recipes to jokes to romance.

I am learning that as a pastor’s wife, my role is undefined and plentiful. As a mother, my task is noble and never-ending. But as a woman, my ministry is based on Titus 2:3-5. I hope you’ll join me as I set my sights on that “older woman” role that – sadly -- my (much-older) husband thinks I may have already attained.

- Esthermay Bentley-Goossen

(This article originally appeared in Windows - The monthly church-news & ministry newsletter of Crane Community Chapel.)

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