True Beauty Begins With Prayer . . .

“To possess true beauty, we must be willing to suffer. . . . if Christ Himself was perfected through His sufferings, why would I believe that God would not do the same with me? Women who are stunningly beautiful are women who have had their hearts enlarged by suffering.”
~ Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge

Have you ever noticed how some women have use their suffering as a way to attract attention to themselves? Have you noticed how some women are just desperate for the rest of us to know all the details of their distress and misery? Have you noticed how they seem to float from person to person -- friend to friend, repeating their story to anyone who will listen? Does it trouble you at all to watch them go habitually from person to person, telling each about all her personal problems and difficulties, relishing every new chance she finds to weigh down someone else with her problems?

Surely you know someone like this.

Maybe you are the one guilty of suffering all over everyone else’s life.

Would you say this woman possesses true beauty?

I'll be honest. I've known a few.
"True" and "Beauty" are not words I'd used to describe them.
"Annoying" and "Troubled:" Yes.

The woman who loads all her troubles onto others and then expects them to do all the praying for her is revealing her own spiritual immaturity -- and her own refusal to accept God's gift of healing and genuine inner beauty.

It’s when we endure and suffer in the presence of God alone – pleading for his patience and grace and mercy -- that we truly join Christ in suffering and see our hearts enlarged. Recall Christ's suffering on the Cross. . . There was no drama or showy expression of suffering. There was no plea for intercession by others. What did happen was that Jesus prayed.

There simply comes a time when talking to people needs to stop and prayer and spiritual maturity must begin:

"Is any among you afflicted? Let [her] pray. . ."
~ James 5:13

Now . . . Let's consider Peter’s words in I Peter 3:3-4:

“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden [wo]man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of god of great price.”

It is just plain wrong – incorrect – erroneous – dishonest – and a misinterpreting of Scripture to believe that this passage tells us that wearing jewelry or cosmetics is a sin. If you look at this verse in context you will see that Peter was not bothered by women wearing jewelry or cosmetics. Not at all! Instead, he was telling women not to invest all their time in their outward appearance while forgetting to invest time in developing their hearts.

See, the women of the First Century – particularly the upper class Greek and Roman women – were obsessed with their outward appearance. They were flamboyant in their hairstyles, spent vast amounts of money on cosmetics, arrayed themselves in luxurious jewelry and wore extravagant clothes.

Peter was not condemning this. There was nothing wrong with the desire to look nice --

. . . And as a women who LOVES her cosmetics and jewelry, I take great comfort in this!

-- except that it consumed so much time that many women had forgotten completely to adorn their hearts.

Only God, our Creator, can adorn a heart. And only God can change a heart. And this only happens when it is requested in prayer.

In our grief and suffering, HE is with us and changes our heart.

In our anger and frustration, HE is with us and changes our heart.

In our pain and affliction, HE is with us and changes our heart.

In our doubt and uncertainty, HE is with us and changes our heart.

In our prayer and meditation, HE changes us into His likeness and it is only then that we possess true beauty

Do you possess true beauty?

Who do you know that possesses true beauty?

~ Esthermay Bentley-Goossen

© 2008 The Heart of a Pastor's Wife

In Other Words is hosted today by Nina at Mama’s Little Treasures.

12:22 AM | 15 comments | Read More

So What Exactly Does "Modest Apparel" Mean Today?

We've all seen it: Women (especially younger women) wearing clothes that expose just about everything: their upper thighs, their buttocks, their bellybuttons and most of what’s above that. Frankly, it’s unattractive and appalling. There aren’t too many reading this who would disagree. The sensuality of the world really does dominate our culture. Sadly, promoting modest attire in churches is not a high priority since a lot of this “exhibitionism” goes unnoticed. Or at least overlooked. And when the subject is addressed, the issue immediately becomes suspect. Thoughts such as “Where are you going with this? Are you going to give a dresses only sermon?” begin to overtake the senses and the words that follow are probably only partially heard.

Although Scripture does not give us explicit instructions or layout a specific dress code, it most certainly does provide us with basic principles that must be taken into account when we choose what to wear. Well-meaning, but ignorant Christians, attempting to codify these principles always run into trouble.

There was a time when Christians knew there was to be a difference in our manner of dress from that of the world. Christians believed the wisdom of I Timothy 2:9: “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with godly fear and sobriety.” Christian women dressed modestly, attractively, and femininely and they were treated with respect! This is NOT true today. Young women (even little girls) admire, emulate and pattern their lives and dress after popular culture and Hollywood stars! And we wonder why respect for women is gone!

So what is “modest apparel?” What do Paul’s words in I Timothy mean literally? In context, Paul was actually concerned about distractions during church service. Satan was working hard to distract and cause disorder – even using a women’s beauty to distract men. Paul emphasized in I Timothy 2:9-19, in I Peter 3:3-4, and in Titus 2:5 the necessity of modesty and purity in a woman’s life - including dress. Basically, Paul is telling us that (1) Women are beautiful; and (2) Calling attention to that beauty by dressing provocatively such to appeal to the senses of men is wrong. Especially in church! A good thing to remember is if it is mentioned more than once in the Bible, then the Holy Spirit felt it needed to be repeated

Of course, women in the First Century could follow the general dress style of the culture without much change, but Twenty First Century Christian women absolutely cannot follow today’s popular dress standards. Most Christian women today dress the same as other women in society. Most do not even realize that the Bible has very much to say about how we should dress. There’s simply not room here to offer every passage as a convincing argument.

Read Isaiah 3:16-24. In Isaiah’s culture, the women adorned themselves with ankle chains, rings, bells, etc. They dressed so as to call attention to themselves – trying to charm and attract men. Don’t we do pretty much the same thing in our culture today? We just don’t opt for the ankle chains as much as we do other ways to dress provocatively! The point is: it’s lascivious in nature and God abhors it and Scripture tells us that He will judge it!

The church, particularly the older women, need to encourage younger woman to look away from the world’s patterns of dress – not in a legalistic way, but in a way that encourages them to follow biblical standards for dress. Taste in dress among Christian women varies greatly. But if we allow the basic principles presented to us in God’s Word to guide us, we can bring glory to Him.

At the risk of sounding very old-fashion, there is a principle portrayed in a beautiful old hymn, “Give of Your Best to The Master.” The song suggests a standard which needs to be revived today.

- Esthermay Bentley-Goossen

(This article originally appeared in Windows -The monthly church-news & ministry newsletter of Crane Community Chapel.)

7:17 PM | 1 comments | Read More